


Infatuated Dismay

by DungeonJukebox



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Mental Coercion, Stockholm Syndrome, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2019-10-19 21:39:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17609483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DungeonJukebox/pseuds/DungeonJukebox
Summary: They will love her in very different ways, yet she knows that none of this could ever be right, yet that matters not to them as they try all they can to keep her trapped. Making her only rely on them.





	1. Controlling

The necklace dangled in front of my face, the sterling silver shimmering in the light of the fluorescent bulbs of the bunker. The tiny plane pendant was decorated with blue stone covering what appeared to be the windows of the plane and in tiny calligraphy writing what appeared to be my name written on the back of it. The necklace was quite elegant and would seem that it would rest exquisitely around my neck as the plane pendant would be displayed for all to see.

 

“Tell me what you think, sweetheart?” John asked hopefully, and it took me a moment before I realised that I had been staring silently at John’s latest gift for a little too long, and as I gazed back into his eyes there was a hint of insistence as he waited for my response.

 

“It’s lovely,” I spoke, my voice barely above normal. John’s face lit up as he smiled widely at me, before standing abruptly and moving to sit on the bed next to me, holding out the necklace in front of me.

 

“Allow me,” he purred right into my ear, sending shivers up my spine, and I promptly moved my hair out of the way as John placed the necklace around my neck. As he clasped the necklace he leaned back to admire the look of it against my pale skin, the tips of his fingers lingered on the back of my neck, causing goose bumps to rise on my skin.

 

“Um… thanks,” I mumbled in return, letting my hair fall back down.

 

“It’s better if you get a good look.” John grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me off of the bed and guiding me towards the bathroom that was connected to my room, bringing me to stand in front of a mirror.  “There,” he sighed deeply behind me, his hand coming up towards my neck to straighten the necklace. “Perfect.” His deep and smooth voice whispering in my ear caused to involuntarily shiver.

 

As I stared into the mirror, his unwavering gaze stared back at me, and I felt unable to tear my eyes away from his own deep blue ones. His own smirk widened as he caught my stare, and after a moment or two, I finally found the courage to look away and down at my feet. John chuckled as he wrapped his arms tightly around my midsection, holding me flush against him, I could feel the reverberations coming from his chest.

 

“You like your gift, yes?” John asked. I simply hummed in response, and quite suddenly, John wrapped his hand around my neck. It wasn’t enough pressure to choke, but enough to quicken my pulse. “I need to hear you say it?” he hissed as his lips grazed the shell of my ear.

 

“Yes, John, I love it,” I breathed out in a quick gasp, but it was enough for John to slacken his grip around my neck.

 

“My beautiful little lamb,” he moaned deeply and pressed his lips against a sensitive spot on my neck. His beard tickled my soft skin as he made his way further down, leaving bites against my shoulder, before gliding his tongue over the marks that he would leave.

 

“John, that’s enough,” I pleaded, attempting to escape his grasp, yet he held fast and would not let me go. However, he stopped his affectionate actions, grasping my chin making me turn my head to face him.

 

“My apologies,” he started, “I just can’t seem to control myself around you.” John grinned mischievously and upon that look, I could feel dread rise from the pit of my stomach.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m just… not feeling well,” I lied. John studied my face for a moment as concern seemed to take form in his eyes.

 

“Is there anything I could do to make you feel better?” he asked. I considered his words for a moment, and the way he was looking at me, perhaps he was genuinely concerned about my well-being. Although, after everything John Seed has done, I can’t imagine there would be a single sympathetic bone in his body.

 

“I want to go outside,” I timidly asked.

 

“Oh, sweetheart,” John began in a soothing voice, turning me to face him fully as he grabbed my hips. “If that’s all you want, I can take you out tomorrow, go for a nice flight. We can even have a nice dinner on a spot that overlooks that valley. Wouldn’t that be just lovely?” His smile was light, as if in a caring way, but all that he was promising wasn’t what I had in mind at all.

 

“I want to go home,” I pleaded hesitantly then, watching as John’s facial expression turned to one of compassion to pure fury.

 

“And why would you want to go there, my dear? Don’t you know that this is your home now?” John hissed as his voice began to rise.

 

“Please, John, I don’t want to be trapped down here.” John slammed me up against the bathroom wall, his body pressing up against mine as one of his hands squeezed around my throat, cutting off my air supply so that I could barely breathe.

 

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about, sweetheart. This is just a lapse in judgment. You _want_ to be here with me. _You_. _Love_. _Me_.” I stared back at him in horror as many wrathful emotions swam in John’s eyes. I truly believed that he would kill me right here, in my prison, never to see the light of day forevermore. “Say it!” John shouted in my face, and it took all the energy I had to gasp out the three simple words.

 

“I love you.” And as quickly as I had said it, John released my throat, planting kisses all over my face and bruised neck.

 

“I’m so sorry,” he said between kisses, finally reaching to capture my lips in a kiss that had me nearly losing my breath once more. “I sometimes let my sins get the best of me. But my God you are just so tempting to fall into wrath for.”

 

I was too traumatized to speak, fearing that if I said the wrong thing once more then those words could be my last. I despised being trapped down here with the only company being this monster who has manipulated me into believing that I love him. How could I ever love someone so volatile? Someone who would have you killed just for looking at him wrong or speaking about something that he does not like? But I would always tell him. And I hated it.

 

“Let’s retire for the night, my love,” John broke me from my thoughts as he grabbed my hand and led me out of the bathroom. “It’s been a long day and I’ve missed you terribly,” he added, sitting me down on the bed as he started to undo his vest, though not taking his eyes off of me as he waited for me to respond.

 

“I’ve missed you too, John,” I spoke quietly, yet it was loud enough for him to hear as his smile grew. He threw his vest on the end of the bed and had soon had his shirt undone, exposing his tattooed and scarred chest, before it joined the vest on the bed. He then bracketed my face in his hands as he reached down, kissing me softly, he lingered against my lips as his piercing gaze held my own.

 

“I love you, more than you’ll ever know,” he mumbled then.

 

“I love you too, John,” I returned, feeling sick to my stomach that I allowed myself to speak such meaningless words.

 

“And you’ll never ask to leave again, yes?” he spoke lowly then. It was that kind of voice that he always used when he was asking me a question, giving me the sense of free will to speak my mind, yet I knew that it held an authority to it that commanded me to say what he wanted me to say. There was no escaping it. I was trapped. This was my life now.

 

“Yes.”


	2. Dominating

My fingers worked against the tense muscles of Jacob’s broad shoulders, loosening the knots that were the result of a long day of work, though I try not to think too much about that as I concentrate on giving him a massage. My concentration nearly broke, however, when Jacob let out a deep, guttural groan, rolling his head and leaning back into my touch.

 

“That feels great darlin’,” he spoke, his voice deep yet somewhat tired. I replied with a small hum, continuing to work the tense muscles in his back. I couldn’t see his expression as I sat kneeling behind him on the bed, but I figured it must have been one of content as he let out a sigh, “been missing you all day.”

 

“I missed you too, Jacob.” It was a lie, and I felt that he knew it too, but it didn’t stop him from letting out a small chuckle and turn towards me. His blue eyes were sharp and observatory as if he were trying to break me down with his gaze, and the menacing smile that he showed was no comfort either.

 

“Aw, you know I’ll always come back for you,” Jacob cooed as he drew one of his large hands to cup my cheek and letting his thumb caress over the smooth skin there.

 

“Maybe…” I started, but trailed off, quickly realising how ridiculous my question would even sound.

 

“What is it darlin’? Don’t be shy now,” Jacob said with a slight tease. I tried to swallow down my fear before opening up to speak once more.

 

“Maybe I could… perhaps… come with you next time?” I asked slowly and in a quiet, timid voice, somehow hoping that he would not hear me. For a split second, there was a change in Jacob’s expression as if he were carefully considering what I had proposed, but it was so quick that I felt that I had imagined it. He smiled at me then, one that seemed genuine and full of love, and I so easily fell into it as I smiled sweetly back at him.

 

“You wanna come with me, darlin’?” he reaffirmed in a calm, low, gravelly voice. His hand started to gently caress my face, and I hated to think this, but the calloused feel of his palm felt so nice and comforting. “Yea, that’d be nice wouldn’t it?” Jacob shifted even closer next to me as is face inched towards me. He was so close that I could feel his body heat radiating off of him and his scent of dirt, pine, and musk invaded my senses. “Wouldn’t have to be thinking about you every second if you’re _with_ me every second,” he breathed against my face, eyes staring straight into my own, and I felt as if that perhaps he would indeed let me out of here.

 

Jacob’s hand moved its way down my cheek, past my jaw, and stopping along my neck. I shivered as his fingers ghosted over the skin there as it travelled down to my collar bone, gasping as he suddenly leaned in and kissed the side of my neck. I reached my hand up and gripped the back of his neck as he continued kissing me, leaving a trail up towards my ear, feeling his breath there.

 

“But you know I can’t let you leave.” I let out a shiver as Jacob drew back and fixed me with a hard stare. He reached his hand up that was resting on my collar bone to lightly grasp my neck in a display of dominance, ensuring that I knew he was the one in control.

 

“Jacob,” I whimpered in response, silently pleading with him, but to no avail, as his eyes darkened and he growled in a low voice.

 

“You’re mine darlin’, and I have to protect what’s mine.” The grasp he had on my neck started to tighten and I grasped his wrist in an attempt to get him to stop. “And if it means that I have to keep you down here and locked up, then so be it,” he spoke as he pushed me slowly back against the bed, towering over me.

 

“J-Jacob…” I managed to gasp, my eyes starting to well up with tears, fearing that he might just kill me. However, something seemed to snap inside his mind, and the darkness that swam in his eyes seemed to disappear and was replaced with a softer gaze.

 

Jacob quickly loosened his hold, and while his hand was still wrapped around my neck, I was allowed to catch my breath. I watched as he breathed deeply as if to calm himself before his voice broke the silence once more.

 

“You know I love you, right?” Jacob asked and I nodded in response. “And you know that I’m your one and only, right?” he added as he leaned down and ghosted his lips over mine.

 

“Yes, Jacob… only you,” I whispered before he captured my lips in a dominating kiss.


	3. Desirous

I sat staring at the closed door leading to the entrance of the bunker with a sense of hopelessness starting to devour me within. It had only been a week since I had been trapped down here, but it already felt like an eternity, and with each passing day I felt more lost. I felt that I had done well, that I was doing the right thing, yet I could not help but feel that there was something that I had missed. Something that told me that I had made a mistake… it didn’t matter now. As long as everyone was safe and doing well, then I suppose that I had done something worthwhile.

 

Despite all of that, however, I could never have anticipated everything to come to an end so soon. That the lives of the people that I had hoped to save were threatened when the bombs had dropped, and all the while I was harboured in the safety of this bunker, I could still hear the bombardment that was happening up top. The quacking of the earth shook me to the core and it took all that I had not to break at the thought of the many that were suffering up there.

 

Then again, if I was with them, what more could _I_ have done?

 

The gentle touch of a hand against my shoulder coaxed me out of my contemplation as a second hand lifted my chin to lift my gaze towards the one with whom I share this prison. Joseph slowly crouched next to me as both of his hands held my face, one of his thumbs gently stroked my cheek, as he smiled softly at me as if in a loving way.

 

“My angel, there is no reason for you to be worried about that fate of the world up there, this was how it was always meant to be,” he spoke in a soft and hushed tone, hands slipping down to grasp at my hands. “Come, let us pray together.” Joseph brought me up to a stand as he started tugging me down the hall and further into the bunker.

 

We came towards a doorway the led into a room that he had specifically set up as a prayer room, dimly lit with candles and his scrawling of pages scattering the floor and lining the walls, and his book as the centrepiece of it all. I froze in the doorway causing Joseph to look back at me with some confusion.

 

“I didn’t want this…” I started to speak yet my voice trailed off into a sob as I felt my eyes well up with tears. Joseph regarded me with a sad look before coming to stand before me.

 

“It is devastating, but it is His will, that the world would be cleansed,” Joseph spoke as his hands held my face lightly once more, this time resting his forehead against mine, “but we are together, my love, and we are safe. We must have faith that we will emerge together into a new Eden.” After taking his words into consideration I shook my head and pushed Joseph away from me.

 

“No! I don’t want any of this! I never want to be with you!” I started to scream as if a petulant child would scream at their parent s for not giving them what they want. And like the Father that Joseph Seed was, he remained patient, but even I noticed the slight twitch in his jaw. “I just wanted the people I care about safe.”

 

“But they never cared about you,” Joseph replied with a slight edge to his voice, and I could see a sense of desire in his deep blue eyes, mixed with negating wrath towards the mention of people that once sought to see him behind bars. “Not like I do,” he added in an almost whisper.

 

“You don’t care about me,” I challenged, “and I don’t care about you.”

 

All too suddenly Joseph was upon me, throwing me against the nearest wall as he pinned me against it, easily overpowering me. He was breathing heavily, seething with rage, much like I was as I within. Yet all too suddenly I remembered what he is capable off and I soon started to fear for my life.

 

“You don’t mean that, my love. I only ever wanted to make you happy, to keep you safe, and to love you for who you are.” Joseph’s face inched closer to mine as he spoke and I seized up, knowing that I could never escape him. “My dear, sweet angel, I will help remind you of your faith.” Joseph gently pressed his lips against mine in a chaste kiss and hummed slightly at the feeling.

 

“I love you,” he said, pulling away just a touch to gaze into my eyes, “and I will never stop loving you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for being patient with the updates and I hope you enjoy reading it.
> 
> All done now with this one now, not sure if I will do something like this again for a while. 
> 
> I might try something else next time if the ideas form but I'll see how I go.

**Author's Note:**

> Most people liked my other work 'Alluring Trepidation', so I thought I'd do something similar to that. Hope you guys enjoy.


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